Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Punctuation Violation, Bodily Functions, and more!!

You know how it's sometimes hard to know how to pronounce crazy names these days? What does that phoneme sound like? Where to place the emphasis? Is Nevaeh "nuh-VAY-uh" or "Nehv-AY?" Is Maliki "mah-lih-KAI" or "mah-LEEK-ee?" What does Pxwpexwsshn sound like, anyway? Well, confused readers, fear no more! Some parents have decided to include the pronuciation guide in the name! I give you: E-li'-sha Hez-e-ki'-ah-Abram.

Emphasis marks are indeed correct. But I think this is officially the most punctuation I have ever seen in a name. Ever. Shalonda-Na Don-Eka Lynn and KendráKashun LaVaryéé do not hold a candle to this one.

There are plenty of tacky names out there. I see them all the time. But I think this one wins Tackiest 2006: Cashmir Mone'y. I like the apostrophe in Money. It really lends some class. Well done, Mom and Dad! (Apparently I missed Tackiest '05: Million'z A'Dolla'z. Seriously. Google it.)

(Notice: Cashmir has a mother named Shelia and a sister named - that's right - She'lia.)

Here's a good one: Messiah Dee'Aira Nicole. I'm sorry... but doesn't that look like Messiah Diarrhea Nicole? The eschatological and the scatalogical meet in one terrifying name.

P.S. That's Amoura'e!


Blogger Shamus said...

why don't you mind your own business? People have a right to name their children whatever they want. It's narrow minded ethno-centric people that are the real problem.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 6:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And we have the right to mock. Isn't life grand?

Thursday, April 27, 2006 2:32:00 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Love the blog! Now I'm wondering, in what ethnic group would Cashmir Mon'ey be considered a legit name? Because I might have to go convert to whatever group it is. I can't stop thinking about cashmere money -- how much fun would that be?! If you were cold you could just take out a few ones and drape them over your shoulders to warm right up! But I guess if you were cold and poor, that would kind of suck. Also if that was your name, that would really suck.

Also, Messiah Dee'Aira Nicole has to be the best sign of the Apocalypse that I've seen all week.

Thursday, April 27, 2006 3:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Almighty Zeus, I have never seen anything as bad as E-li'-sha Hez-e-ki'-ah-Abram. What the heck??? I'm sorry, preach about letting parents name their own children all they want, but that is child abuse.

Do people not realize that what they name their kid is more than just a "fun" part of pregnancy? Is there a secret contest going on around the globe for who can come up with the most insane name?

Thursday, April 27, 2006 4:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in love with your blogs. I have been thinking, maybe when I have a child I will come to this site and their name will be the jumbled letters I have to type before my comment can be left. Right now it'd be Oehtfujt. Lovely. :)
My mom used to work in a maternity ward and she had some great stories about baby names. Most notably a woman who heard doctors talking about the babies Meconium and decided she'd name her daughter that. If you aren't aware, meconium is the babies first poop. Sadly I don't think that woman had any friends who knew that either and still is unaware of her being a dumbass. Also Fema'le after seeing the word female.
It's people like that who convince me you should have to pass a test to procreate.

Sunday, March 30, 2008 6:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Insert Secret Alias Here said...

Actually, I'd probably pronounce Maliki Ma-licky. Yum :D
Word Verification Name:
Redograt Like aristrocrat, but when one is a Redograt, they tend to have to redo many things.

Friday, April 17, 2009 9:58:00 PM  
Blogger ~Amanda Michelle~ said...

Another one for you to enjoy full mockery of. Name: La-a to be pronounced in full as La-"Dash"-a, the Dash is not silent. I guess the same could be said if we always want to use punctuation for the naming of our children then we could turn the traditional name of Matilda into Ma~, enjoy!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 8:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Eeeyooukneeie'kque said...

I am a Registered Nurse in an inner city hospital. If it were not for HIPPA regulations I would challange thee to a name duel, AHA

Saturday, May 21, 2011 11:47:00 AM  

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