Bad Baby Names - Home Edition
In the process of moving home, impoverished liberal arts major that I am, I discovered one of those "My Life According to Me" journals given to me on my sixteenth birthday. Its pages disclose such audacious secrets as "As of today, I have liked the same guy since I was twelve," and "I hate French 4 and flared pants." Buried among these gems are the baby names I liked when I was sixteen. Please prepare yourself.
Keep in mind that these are all written in silver and purple gel ink.
Annie Rose (girl) - not to be confused with all those boys named Annie Rose.
Willow (girl) - I was actually not aware at the time of the character Willow from Buffy the Vampire slayer. I briefly thought of changing my name to Willow when I was fifteen and going through a hippie-pagan-nature stage.
Hannah Maria Tzeitel (girl) - I was apparently going through a "Fiddler on the Roof" stage. I believe I gave this name to a snail or fish, eventually.
Hollie Joy (girl) - Apart from the fact that this sounds like the title of a Christmas window theme at Macy's, it could be okay. Maybe.
Amelia Joy (girl) - Oh hay, I would still use this one! Except that Amelia is getting so popular. Maybe Amalia?
Sophie Catherine - Guess I figured there's no way Sophie Catherine could not be a girl.
Gianlorenzo (guy) - For Bernini. I kid you not. I actually still like this one, in an "I would name a fish this" kind of way.
Stephen Cole - Not bad in and of itself, but now would only work if your last name were "Bear" or similar.
Thomas Elijah - How did the boys get it so much easier than the girls? Thomas Elijah is a damn fine name!
So, my dear readers. I know you are out there - you even comment sometimes. What were the worst ideas you had for names as a teenager? I dare you to top Gianlorenzo (guy).