In honor of the season:

My father spent the evening hanging about a thousand pieces of string in front of our door, to make a spooky entrance for trick-or-treaters next week, so I figure there is no better time than to examine some seriously spooky names. Granted, most names featured on this blog are seriously spooky names, but I think we are long overdue for an updated on... GOTH NAMES!

Yes! Remember Rasputina, Nothing, Calamity and Chlamydia? Let's be serious, who could forget Chlamydia? Well, as the biggest goth night of the year draws closer, let's review some names currently popular on the goth/"goth"/mental scene:


BabyNames.com has kindly provided us with an entire list appropriate for the season. Included are such gems as:

Banshee - "Screaming Spirit"
Blair - "A Witch Project"
Bloody Mary - "Ghost Legend"
Bones - "Skeletal" (Bones would never get teased in junior high, I bet)
Boo - "Scary"
Chaos - "Extremely Disorganized"
Cyclops - "One-Eyed"
Dementia - "Insanity"
Fang - "Long Tooth" (This one would definitely get bottle-fed)
Hulk - "Scary Superhero"
Malifacent - "Evil Godmother in "Sleeping Beauty"" (Way to spell, Babynames.com. Way to spell.)
Reaper - "Very Grim Visitor" (I think this definition is my favorite)
Salem - Witchy Black Cat (Or, you know, that whole witch trials thing. Ooooh, spooky.)
Sasquatch - Bigfoot (definitely wouldn't want a breech birth with Sasquatch)
Scarface - Al Capone's Nickname (only appropriate if they have to use forceps)
Skull - Skinless Head (that's one way to put it, I guess.)
Zombie - Living Dead (every woman wants to give birth to the living dead!!)


On one discussion board, the debate raged on goth names for a truly unfortunate pair of twins:


OP:Ok well, my best friend is having twins, a boy and a girl, and she insist on naming her babies dark, very gothic names. Anyone have any suggestions for first and middle names?

Poster 1: I don't know if these will fit but i like them and i think they have a darkness to them.
Boys:
Drake (dragon)
Dart (Vader?)
Darwin (must be an intelligent design fan)

Girls:
Drewid (I think this is "Druid." One very illiterate Druid.)
Granite
Onyx (That's funny, I think of onyx has having a darkness to it, too!)
Lava (Lava. Seriously. SHE JUST SUGGESTED LAVA.)

Poster 2:
-Monday
-Tuesday
-Wednesday
-Thursday
-Friday (apparently, Saturday and Sunday just aren't goth enough)
-Sullen
-Agony (natural childbirth, perhaps?)
-Blackthorn
-Leaf
-Chaos
-Entropy
-Cloud
-Ghost
-Prayer
-Duck (Duck. DUCK.)
-Stix ("Where you going?" "Oh, to pick up Stix.")
-Absinthe (I think they should just get it over with and name her "Green Fairy")


Poster 3: Hey isn't "goth" something that is associated with death, queen victoria, the rest of the victorian obsession with death and dying,Esp.with children,and babies,since not many lived. Also-Why are people making this a christian/non subject? Or is "goth" now a pagan thing? I thought it was just a pessimistic thing?

Poster 4: Jesus, get a brain, Gothic subculture is all about expression, unlike the new age yuppies of the world, religion is no subject, and some people t choose to be into the death part, you don't have to be all dark and depressed to be gothic, that' s a complete stereotype.

"Jesus, seriously. Our subculture is all about expression, which is why everyone dresses the same. That's what Gothic is. Get a brain! What? What's a triforium? What? No, I've never read Jane Eyre, why do you ask?"

Poster 5:
the gothic name for a boy is dracula, lusfer ,dhamipr ,crow, wolf
and here some gothic girl names, moon ,darlar , chilmmide, rubella

Ahhh. Chlamydia, there you are. At least, I think that's you. You're next to Rubella, so it's a bit hard to tell.



I have saved the truly terrifying for last. That's right. Namenerds. They've got a goth section. Oh the horror.

Ague - term for Malaria used from the middle ages up until the 20th century. (New sibset idea: Malady, Malaria, Ague and Chlamydia. WDYT???)
Autumn - season where everything dies (I guess that's one way to look at it.)
Avarice - Greed. One of the Seven Deadly Sins
Azazel - Hebrew Bible goat-like demon (Attractive.)
Candelaria - a plant family thought to drive away evil spirits in the middle ages (Note to parents: Do not name a brother and sister Azazel and Candelaria.)
Catafalque - coffin-shaped box covered with a black cloth used in place of a body if one is not available for the funeral. (Were any of you like me, and read "cattle f*ck" at first glance? Great name)
Clove - cigarettes that goths and art students smoke a lot of (at least they're honest. I want to name my kids Phillip Morris and Marlboro Camille, personally).
Cloven - what Satan's hoofs are (also an important distinction in kosher dietary law. Is "Shellfish" a goth name, do you suppose? What about "Pork"...?)
Dies Irae - mass for the dead (Actually, this means "Day of Wrath." Methinks someone has listened to the Requiem one too many times.)
Dystopia - the opposite of Utopia - theoretical place where everything sucks.
Funereal/funerea - put the "fun" in funeral! (You did not just say that.)
Imbolc Celtic festival - corresponds with St. Bridig's day (Feb. 1). Groundhog Day actually stems from this. (Awesome. I always wanted to name a kid after... Groundhog's Day.)
Morbosa/Morbosis - "horny" in latin (Intercoursana Ecstasy too overt for you, but still want to name your kid something SEXY? This one's perfect!) (Unless, of course, it means "horny" like "spiny." In which case, I hope a C-section is in order)
November - cold, crappy month in the northern hemisphere
Orchid - I don't know why, orchids pop up a lot in goth clubs, They're exotic and rare. (NB - "Orchid" is actually the Latin word for "testicle." Nice one, Gawth Mawm. Nice one.)
Pancuronium - a poisonous compound used in lethal injection death sentences.
Penance - what you have to do to make up for your sins (in this case, using any name on this list)