Thursday, August 31, 2006

In case you wonder why I even take the time to do this:

if hse had been a boy we were going to name him Stalin.. but we got alot of comments from that.. yes.. we got the idea from joseph Stalin.. but he would not have been like a name sake or something.. we just liked the name Stalin..

Monday, August 28, 2006

Majestyk crime-busters Ultraviolet and Blue smash Braizyn Jax smuggling ring with their Lively Tallens

Tallen Lively. The hospital lets us know that "Tallen is a good name meaning: claw, nail." No news on "Lively," but I think that probably means something nicer.

Braizyn Randall - will he grow up to be a brazen vandal? Only time will tell. Though the first name is not a good sign.

Ultraviolet Isabelle and Crystal Blue could be an awesome crime-fighting duo.

I was shocked to see Leviticus as a name a few months back... but I am now even more shocked to find a Corinthian. Corrie for short, perhaps? Levi and Corrie would make a great sibset. Why bother naming after those books in the Bible that are... named after people..?

Majestyk Valley - I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is a euphemism for cleavage in the Metaphysical poets.

Honestly? Not that Unique.

This kid will never lose at playground games! No way, for he is Jax Justis!

The new baby name book suggests for girls: Anatola ("from the Turkish region Anatolia"), Flower ("Old French for 'blossom'"), Anwar ('Rays of light,' most familiar as a man's name" - have you ever heard this used as a female name, EVER?); and for boys: Havelock ("sea competition"), Rushford ("ford with rushes"), Laddie ("Middle English for 'manservant or young man'"), and Lombard ("Latin for 'long beard'; Lombardy is an area in Northern Italy"). Now, of course, some of these definitions are right... but who would name a kid Laddie, Lombard, or (in the case of a daughter) Anwar?

I would like to note that the woman who wrote this book also wrote a newer one called "The Modern Guide to Teaching Children Good Manners." If her research for that was as good as her research for this one, kids will be farting loudly and biting their hosts as signs of their gratitude.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Spam Names

When I was working in the archives, I was always coming across old 19th century gentlemen's names like "Norman K. Finletter" and "Albion J. Tomorrow." I made careful note of them because they reminded me a great deal of the names I find daily caught in my spam filter. Names like "Haywood Huggard" or "Erebus Warnick." But lately I find my spamming friends have abandoned their usually hilarious choices (e.g. "Spaghetti T. Joyride," "Probiotic L. Moon") for actual, sensible names:

Lenore Proctor
Reva Christine
Amaryllis Seamons
Mercedes Hobbs

I wonder whether spammers aren't digging up ideas from the 1880 census. If not for the inclusion of the interestingly-named Maryland Audie (probably the actual name of some poor 2005 baby), I would have thought I was being CC'ed on somebody's canasta webgroup.

Today I took a trip to the local library, where I picked up a free book entitled "20,001 Names for Baby." I can already tell it's going to be great. Check out the entry for Evangeline:

Evangeline Gk., 'good news.' Derived from the term that came to be used for the Gospels, or the four Old Testament accounts of Christ's life. First used in English by Alfred Tennyson in his 1847 poem, "Evangeline."

Did you know that Tennyson wrote a poem named "Evangeline?" I sure didn't. But then, I also didn't know that the Gospels were in the Old Testament, so I guess I have a lot to learn. Thank you, author Carol McD. Wallace!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

J Names for Boys, Dogs, or Other Fashion Accessories

Jaden Velvet:
This is just such a beautiful unisex name that i've only recently found and I luv it . The nn would b J.V.

"Velvet" doesn't scream "unisex!" to me so much as "stripper!" Or perhaps "cupcakes!"


(pronounced Jay-ger, not Yay-ger) means Hunter in German.

Not in the German I know!





(YAWN- ous) I really like this name for some reason. It's manly, but the problem is I have a friend named this and everyone calls him Nosey. Oh well.

OH WELL! What's up, Nosey?


A better spelling of Jackson. Jack and Jax are both really sporty nicknames.

Somebody better ring Andrew's ghost. I bet he's pissed he used the lamer spelling of his name. Time to beat somebody with a cane!

Jayce Karlin:
I found Jace in a baby book, then met someone with the name Jayce a week later. To me it meant I had to name my son Jayce. Karlin was my daughters name - she came up with it in the car one day...(age 4). I don't like calling kids by initials, so I made Carlin, into Karlin.

Man, that's weird! I met two Onchorynchus's this week - guess that's all settled, then!


I like the way the spelling makes this ordinary name come to life.

I like the way you can take random elements of sound and create names that come to life. Like Frankenstein!


It makes me think of a huge flock of blue jays

This will be particularly cool when changing Jaydin's diapers, I bet.


It gives off a tom-boyish tone, and the name rolls off your tounge. It's just a cool name for a guy to have!

Nothing like being a tom-boyish... boy.


Unique spelling if you are dead set on Jason.

I suspect that if you are dead set on "Jason," you are going to spell it... "Jason."


mix of Jethro, from the bible, and Jeff

Dear Jethren, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of two perfectly good names into one horrific mangle.



Joss (boy)

Joss is my favorite boy's name - it's literal translation means "luck" or "fate" in Chinese (Mandarin, I think) but I like to think of it as a modern alternative to traditional names like Joshua (Josh) or Joseph. Watch out for the Buffy/Angel fans on this one!

If all Buffy/Angel fans are like you and think that Joss is a Chinese name, I might watch out for them regardless.

Juan Shea:
pronounced Ja-won Shay but spelled mystiquely

Or spelled Spanishly.

I'm not sure why, I have just always loved the name Julian. (I pronounce it Jul-ain)

I'm not sure why, I have just always loved the name Literacy. I pronounce it Li-rat-eh-see.


I love this name, it's so...oh i really dont know it just sounds so cool. I'm a little worried about the whole "Justin" thing though, i have no wish to have my child called justin (i have a grudge against nsync, i wouldnt name my child after one of them!)

Clearly, if you are still carrying a grudge against a nineties boy band, you are definitely at the right stage in your life to be reproducing.


For boys names my favorite is Jusup I could image a little dark eyed boy or a strong, intelligent man with this name.

Funny, I could only imagine a Budweiser commercial:

Guy 1: Hey Jusup?
Guy 2: Jusuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!
Guy 1: Jusuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!
Guy 1: Hey dude, pick up the phone.
Guy 3: Jusuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppp!!

Bad Baby Names - Home Edition

In the process of moving home, impoverished liberal arts major that I am, I discovered one of those "My Life According to Me" journals given to me on my sixteenth birthday. Its pages disclose such audacious secrets as "As of today, I have liked the same guy since I was twelve," and "I hate French 4 and flared pants." Buried among these gems are the baby names I liked when I was sixteen. Please prepare yourself.

Keep in mind that these are all written in silver and purple gel ink.

Annie Rose (girl) - not to be confused with all those boys named Annie Rose.
Willow (girl) - I was actually not aware at the time of the character Willow from Buffy the Vampire slayer. I briefly thought of changing my name to Willow when I was fifteen and going through a hippie-pagan-nature stage.
Hannah Maria Tzeitel (girl) - I was apparently going through a "Fiddler on the Roof" stage. I believe I gave this name to a snail or fish, eventually.
Hollie Joy (girl) - Apart from the fact that this sounds like the title of a Christmas window theme at Macy's, it could be okay. Maybe.
Amelia Joy (girl) - Oh hay, I would still use this one! Except that Amelia is getting so popular. Maybe Amalia?
Sophie Catherine - Guess I figured there's no way Sophie Catherine could not be a girl.

Gianlorenzo (guy) - For Bernini. I kid you not. I actually still like this one, in an "I would name a fish this" kind of way.
Stephen Cole - Not bad in and of itself, but now would only work if your last name were "Bear" or similar.
Thomas Elijah - How did the boys get it so much easier than the girls? Thomas Elijah is a damn fine name!

So, my dear readers. I know you are out there - you even comment sometimes. What were the worst ideas you had for names as a teenager? I dare you to top Gianlorenzo (guy).

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Alaska Season, Blackberry Battle, and Cricket Integrity: an ABCs of modern hippie naming

My favorite user over at Behind the Name just posted her list of favorite names. GET READY TO ROCK, MY FRIENDS:

The list includes things like Tristan, Edison, Oceana, Lavender... okay, unusual, but not terrible, right? Things are going smoothly until this user contracts... THE DREADED NOUN DISEASE!!

On a boy:

On a girl (who gets it far, far worse):

(Iceland Sprite? Like a valkyrie or the huldufólk?)
Paradise (Koi Paradise! Where we meet all your tropical fish needs!)
("Hey man, where were you all last weekend?" "Oh, in the Labyrinth, you know...")

Actual suggestions, people, actual suggestions. All we need is name combinations. What about Rainbow Knowledge (sure to come out of the closet early) or Tennessee Integrity ("I found this here hunderd-dollar bill on yer porch, ma'am, thought I should return it.") or Disney Season ("Here come the tourists to Anaheim! It must be Disney season!!")

Far less virulent but also concerning is the MEDIEVAL OCCUPATION DISEASE, which seems to have infected this poster in the girls' names quadrant of her brain:


ON A GIRL. No, never mind, ON A CHILD! A real, live, breathing child! Breathing, that is, until little Rainbow Blueberry Apprentice kills herself for shame.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Just a Test

Thought you be interested in knowing:

Lkjlkjl and Jklkj have chosen the name Fjslkdfsdf Jj for their beautiful new son.


What's worse than Orion Eleison?

Having a twin called Oriana Kyrie, of course.

Lord have mercy.

Kiss me, I'm Irysh!

Original Poster: I love the name Ireland, for a very long time. I need a MN for "her", any suggestions? I don't want a "filler" MN or one that's used a lot, but still normal. Thanks!

Now, for those of you who might not be able to guess, Ireland is one of those Names of Shame around here. Brooklyn was dumb enough, but at least Brooke and Lynn are names. Ireland? Only if you want a real live leprechaun to kick your ass. Irelynn? Not a chance. A lot of people say they want to use this "name" to "honor their Irish roots." I think that if you're Irish enough to be honoring your Irishness, you probably know that no Irish person would name a kid Ireland, nor would it really be patriotic to use this particular Anglicized form of "Eire" anyway.

I've detailed my feelings about Irysh-philia briefly in the past, but I figure a refresher wouldn't hurt.

The Bad Baby Names Blog Primer on Irish Naming:

1. There are thousands of beautiful Irish names out there. None of them begin with K. Those are Anglicizations. None of them begin with Mc, either. Those are Scottish. If you feel like that's all the same, perhaps you shouldn't be considering an Irish name.

2. Irish Gaelic uses a different set of phonics than English, even if it does use the Roman alphabet. Thus Ciara is "key-ruh," not "sierra"; Siobhan is "she-vahn," not "see-oh-bahn"; and Saoirse is "seersha," not "ooh!-it-means-"freedom!"-that-can't-have-any-political-connotations-it's-perfect-for-my-little-American-girl!!!"

3. An Irish name will not make you Irish. Or even half-Irish. If you are 1/64th Irish and want to use an Irish name to "honor your Irishness," 63/64ths of you are telling me you are really really not Irish. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead.

4. Ireland's number one export, believe it or not, is not: shamrocks; mystic Celts; enchanted little men; Celtic knot tattoos; "faeries"; the Middle Ages; alcohol. It's actually machinery. Sorry to disappoint, Little Miss Pregnant Renfaire.

Now that that's out of the way, let's go on to the suggestions:

Ireland Abigail
Ireland Matilda
Ireland Lorraine
Ireland Eleanor

Hm, these aren't so bad. Maybe I was worried for nothing.


Ireland Bailey (mm, Bailey's Irish Creme!)
Ireland Mackenzie (mm, Scottish!)
Ireland Teague (boys name - demonstrates a clear understanding of Irishness, doesn't it!)
Ireland Faith (but is it Catholicism? Or Church of England??)
Ireland Peace (if only!)

Monday, August 07, 2006

That which we call a Madeleine...

Variants of Madeleine found on a single baby naming site:

Madailein - Irish form of Madeleine, "magnificent"
Madalen - Hebrew, "From the tower"
Madalena - Spanish, "Bitter," "Woman from Magdala."
Madalene - "Woman from Magdala"
Madalyn - Hebrew, "from the tower"
Madalyne - French "Tower."
Madalynn - Spanish, "Woman from Magdala"
Maddalen - German, "magnificent"
Maddalena - German, "magnificent"
Maddalene - German, "magnificent"
Maddalyn - German, "magnificent"
MaddieLynn - English
Madelaine - Hebrew, "from the tower"
Madeleina - French, "tower"
Madeleine - French, "tower"
Madelena - Hebrew, "from the tower"
Madelene - Hebrew, "from the tower"
Madelina - French, "Woman from Magdala"
Madeline - French, "Woman from Magdala"
Madelon - French, "Woman from Magdala"
Madelynn - Spanish, "Woman from Magdala"
Madilynn - Unknown origins, "Combination of traditional Madiline and the Lynn."
Madolen - French, "tower"

Excusez-moi, mesdames et messieurs. I am looking for le Madolen - you know, the one where la madalena madalynn lives? I hear the architecture madelena is sehr maddalen!

The moral of this story? Don't believe everything you read on the internets. Also, be very afraid of recent developments in American foreign language education.

If you thought Holiday Merlot was embarrassing:

Ahh, good old Snugglepie. You never fail to disappoint.


Name Origin: Native American

Meaning: She has large breasts (Algonquin)



Name Origin: English

Meaning: Female variant of Marlon.

Just Plain Unfortunate

Culturally appropriate name? Probably. But it's still unfortunate for poor little Rotchild.

Na na na na Na Na.

Poor Anastyn.

People can't get enough of those dead presidents. Kennedy not good enough? What about McKynlee?

Caution. Too bad his middle name isn't Danger.

Gel Crystal - hippie decor item, or baby name?

Holiday Merlot will never wonder how she was conceived.

This kid's name isn't an embarrassing conception joke - but his t-shirt is. Ewww.

It's a miracle little Sephiroth was ever conceived.

Papa don't Preach.

Don't Laya Abed, you layabout!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Message Board Fun!!

I have two daughters and it was so fun and easy picking out their names. You can get creative with girls names and even the spellings. Boys are different. I don't know for sure what the sex of my third baby is yet, but I have a feeling it is a boy. I want to pick out a unique boys name, but I am finding it hard to find one that isn't sissy sounding. And I do not want any crazy spellings either. Guess I am too picky, but I just don't want to stick my son with a girly name. Any advice?

The advice:

Colton/Colt (gun?)
Clinton/Clint (Mr Cigar?)
Viktor (tougher with a K!)
Wolf (leader of the pack!)
Trace (this is a name?)
Kraven (Craven??)
Ky (made up)
Brodin (also made up)
Shad (really really made up)
Rayce (like running? or like skin color?)
Zyler (um?)
Ryder (sexual)
Ryker (prison)

Things are looking good for boys these days.

Okay, I know this name is different but I really love it.

Aelfric -It means Elf ruler.

I haven't come up with a middle name yet. I think it is unique without being too way over the top. I can use Fric for short. It is better than some of those names out there.

It doesn't exactly surprise me that someone who wants to name their son "Aelfric" isn't familiar with the slang word "frick." Not that Aelfric is so bad though, as she does point out.

My DH and I do not know what we are having but are trying to find a good name. All 4 of our other girls start with "K" but we are not stuck on naming this one with a "K".

Our girls names....
Kjersten Ann-Marie
Keeley Cheyenne
Keturah Jay Ann
Keziah Esther Marie

We do tend to like Hebrew names due to the biblical meanings.

Something tells me Keeley Cheyenne missed the Biblical boat.

The suggestions do too.

Kinsey? (About as far from Biblical as you get.)
Kylyn? (Killin'? Definitely not Biblical.)
Kaina? (Make it Caina. Definitely Biblical. Just not with a K.)
Kalla? (Please, only with middle name Lylly)
Kellen (If Helen Keller mated with herself, she might produce a Kellen.)
Kayle (Like the vegetable?)
Kennedy (Mm, dead president.)
Kindley (Kindly step away from the K names, Mom.)
Karigen (Is this like a pathogen?)

My idea is definately different from every single one you've heard, and is unique but pretty Kishelle like Michelle with a K instead. So here is my name choice:

Kishelle Rae-lynn

The OP found this generous (and, perhaps like me, thought it sounded like a brand of toilet paper), but chose to decline:

Thanks BUT I do like to go with actual names - nothing made up.

Again, seems that Keeley Cheyenne missed the boat on this.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Chick Magnet

Meet Brigham.

From Utah.

Most appropriate shirt ever.


Please not Kayden. Or Brayden. Or Ayden or Jayden or Slayden. Or Kyllair.

A Living Legend

I'm sure we've all heard those naming urban legends. Lemonjello and Orangejello. Female. Shithead. Shanda Lear.

They are urban legends... aren't they?

Exhibit A:

I'm expecting baby #1 2/07, not sure of the gender, but think it's a girl and wanted some opinions on my choice of names.

Kennedy Jayde or Jade
Konner Michelle
Chandlier Natiese

I'm really into unisex names for the given name, anyother suggestions or combos?

Whoa whoa whoa. Back up. Kennedy Jayde. Konner Michelle. CHANDLIER NATIESE. Is this supposed to be... Chandler? Ohhh, Momma Unisex, this is a job for Clippy!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Oh Clippy. If only there were an AutoCorrect for names.

Unfortunately, there's not. Unfortunately for little Chandlier Natiese, at least:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Hooray, Microsoft Word. Hooray Chandelier Nastiest.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Bomb Kansas

No, seriously, bomb Kansas. Forget Alabama or Gennessee. It's Kansas we need to worry about. They are crazy there! They've got a Maniya!!

They are too creative there!! Just look at Kansas June, who was born... in Kansas... in June. No, wait, this isn't the example I want.

They are too creative there!! Just look at... oh God... do I have to look at it? Just look at N'Ascent Mi'Princess D'Zyre Heavenly. I'm sorry, I had to. Surely now you are convinced that Kansas must be destroyed.

Let's send an Acelynn pilot to do it! Or perhaps we can utilize karate! Yee-ahhh! Hi-yah! Aahaysia Kamiyah!!

Rats, it's not working. Let's consult modern-day prophets Azekial Eldon (an elf?) and Ryan Michelle Leanne (a modern-day Tiresias, clearly).

Ahh, the prophets have spoken with Aunesti. In order to destroy Kansas, we must harness the power of an Ion Nolen bomb!

Damn! Hippie Native American activist Jericho Krazie Horse has spoken out against our use of the Ion Bomb! Our only option left is to hire a professional Kyllair - perhaps that is un-Kristchain, but it is absolutely necessary in these dire circumstances!

Well, it looks like we're going to have to wait for our little kyllair to grow up. Or at least turn eight. Until then, Kansas, watch your back. We've got our eyes Onya.