Thursday, September 21, 2006

Names of the Week

What do you want to bet that Wiggles' siblings got to choose the name this time? At least it wasn't Blue's Clues.

Leaf Ava. I'm not even sure how I feel about this. Refreshing botanical? or strangely Viking?

I am willing to bet that Paris Nicole's parents watched way too much TV. Or at least way too much "Simple Life."

Tylinn Alyssa Shae. Does anyone else hear "Tylenol Issa Shae?" Is that the level after "extra strength?"

"Yarrh, we should have caught the monster, t'were it left to our Sailor Grace - but the white whale got away!!"

Have a nice day! Have a great month! Have a De'Avazhae Lyfe!

Remember little Cutter? His best friend was just born: Shonto Stabber!

Howdy, Cody!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

What's up, Hawaii?

No buts about it. She's definitely a Sweetie. And this one's definitely Samoan.

James-Z Charley. A girl. I guess the Z makes it feminine? And... the Charley?

Raargh!! He's a Tyger! He has Furyan Roar!!

Also, a short review of recent Hawaiian names:

Abbsidy Elizabeth (yes, I believe this is evidence that somebody liked "Abcde" enough to spell it phonetically and use it on a child. Remember, Elizabeth as a middle name covers all wrongs!)
Applee
Ashlyn-Tasia (it's Ashlyn-tastic!!)
Avyn Hennessey
Blessing
Breezy
Charish
Chymes
Cracious
Dream
Dyzhalinh
Humble
Kailee-lei (lee lee lee?)
Kruzzlyn Charity (how is this one even attractive?)
Lorheynce
Prince Nelson
Raynebow
Rhydr
Sailine
Secrett-Lee
Shadow
Titan
Xcel
Xzayvier Kalei Bozo
Zhymmore Rheign

Blessed are the Jacks and Evelyns, for they shall have reasonable names

What shall you do about the badly-named? Yu'shall Pray!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

News Flash!!

Leviathan attacks Zeppelin Early Monday.

September 6, 2028
Gary, Indiana

A monstrous sea creature reared its head out of Lake Michigan this morning to maul an airborne zeppelin by the light of the Morning Star.

Little Dublin resident Seamus O'Livia witnessed the attack as he woke for work. "It was a Myr'Akell no one was hurt!"

President Chaney is Inasia this week on a Komodo dragon hunting trip, but Vice President Beautifull Princess Ajuliun M says she will personally travel to the scene in her Delorian. Alternative energy activists have criticized the move, saying it would be much better for her to travel in a Jetta configured for Kohl Diesel.

Magickal parascientific specialists were called in to deal with the problem in their own unique way. Merlin, E'owyn, and Arwen Flumguddy joined hands and chanted an obscure spell over the accursed lake. "JamiahLiz Tquan Rhiahannaen!" It is not clear whether this approach was effective in driving off the monster, though paranormal enthusiast Zelic Jones exclaimed, "It was an absolute De'Lyte to watch! I saw the water get all Ghloey, so something must have worked!"

Jones may have been observing the effects of Nitareon gas, which the state has ordered pumped into the lake against the wishes of environmental activists, who released a statement saying, "This move will leave us Bayless!"

Local police speculate whether the leviathan was unleashed on the unsuspecting town as an act of domestic terrorism. "I don't want to accuse anyone of Traesyn," announced Police Chief Camiyla Jasmine Qt Charmaine, "but we currently suspect rogue Austro-Iranian noble Prince Nasir Karl Friedrich of some mischief in this. Allowing criminal minds like Friedrich to run loose is Anasti Pryce to pay for Liberty."

Prince Friedrich would not comment on the case except to say, "I have no Mhemori of the Gary area, and I do not Envayh the job of investigators there. Idonna what else to say."

No word yet on how Indiana authorities plan to Cache the monster, as it seems to have disappeared without a Trace.

Report by Sir L. B. Love.